Yesterday, marked the 2nd year since the 9.0 earthquake and subsequent tsunami washed ashore forever changing the landscape of everything that was familiar. We didn't really see it coming, though we had wondered "what if" as we saw her health decline. Then, when the day came to face the reality of final struggle, there was no denial of the pain. There was no way to avoid the blow. There was no way to escape. Mom was gone. The only option left: survival.
As everyone knows that faces the loss of a significant life, it takes years to realize the full impact. The obvious hits right away, and grief washes through. The first year was full of painful reminders at every turn that mom was no longer here with us. In my mind, I could be happy for her and the joy unspeakable that she now experiences. But hearing the prayers of my children each night as they expressed their sadness to God and asked him to hug her for them would keep my own grief at the forefront of my heart. Things changed immediately and changes have continued. One constant: God's Presence. He draws near to those who are broken hearted. He comforts. He heals. He sustains. He loves. And I'm convinced, he hugs my mom daily at a special request of a child.
As the second year has passed, there is no doubt that the heart is still tender. Tears can emerge over the simplest of things as memories pop up without warning. But they are not always deeply sad and they don't linger long. They come from a place of gratitude for having such an amazing mother for my life. She filled my life with great gifts and those gifts are all still here with me. She taught me to love life. She taught me to love God. She taught me to love people. She taught me to appreciate things of beauty and be grateful for even the most simple of experiences. She invested in me in so many ways that though she has gone, she has left an indelible mark.
Our family has moved forward, because we must and she would want us to. She would with out a doubt want to be missed and would be quite upset if we didn't miss her, however, I don't believe she'd want us to look back and long for what was, but to look foward to life in the future. Most importantly life in Heaven with Christ and all those who have gone before us. But also, the life we have 'till then. There is much life to be celebrated. Much of life to be appreciated. Much of life to be shared and embraced.
So two years later we are embracing life in my home and family. We are enjoying each day with our children. I pass on to them the joy of knowing they are loved by God and by me. I hope they always see in my eyes the unconditional love that I saw in the eyes of my mom. We still talk about Grammy with great affection. But we look forward with hope and we remember with joy all that life has to offer. God is so good and his mercy is new every morning. We've had two years of mornings and He has poured out his Love to us each day. I have every reason to believe that tomorrow will be full of the same hope, the same joy, and the same peace that He has provided so far.
Thanks Mom and Dad for teaching me about Christ. He really is the greatest asset in my life. And I've really needed Him the last two years.
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